Updates, and a Promise of Sorts
In no particular order:
The Brazillians are going to win the World Cup
You can say I’m crazy, or disregarding Holland, or any old thing you like. Brazil looks like a team that’s just going to let quality and patience win them the tournament. If we’re exceptionally lucky, they’ll play Argentina in the Finals and Diego Maradona will turn into an anime version of himself in his halftime talk. Messi and co. will return to the pitch, looking slightly bemused and mostly embarrased, as a 3D-rendered Diego marches alongside them, a tiny emoticon floating above his head. What it is, no one knows – it changes too quickly for anyone to draw a bead on its actual meaning.
And then Brazil will beat them. Much has been made of defense in this tournament (or if it hasn’t, it ought to have done). Brazil has it in spades, but it’s the kind of defense that rampages up the right hand side and scores from impossible angles. That, my friends, is value added.
Most ridiculous press report: Mourinho thinks Ronaldo’s an Okay Player Still
“Hey, Jimmy, there’s this gap between the conclusion of the second round and the start of the quarterfinals. Go ask Jose if he thinks Ronaldo will be crap this year at Real Madrid based on his perennially tepid World Cup performance.”
“But, boss, doesn’t that border on dumbest question ever?”
“I don’t care if it’s the result of an all-night peyote bender with a radical sect of octagenarian free thinkers! And, by the way, it’s exactly that.”
“…”
“We have no scores to report, kid! The headline will say Mourinho, that’s all I need!”
The Flaming Roses make their debut
Just as soon as I get it edited up I’m going to post a clip from the first Rock and Roll Camp for Girls Showcase of the summer. Why you ask? Because it was awesome. And it involved my daughter. So there.
I need to write more
So hey, here’s the thing. A lot of people have asked me about the new job. A lot of people have asked me about Sponsored Tweets. Many other people have just generally commented that they like it when I use my words. That’s all been lovely and (in the case of the last one) flattering, and so I’m going to try to get better at posting on this blog thing. It’s hard for me to make fun of Dietrich turning his blog into Firefox Performance infoporn if I, myself, am not writing.
So there’s the promise of sorts. Famous last words and all that.
Content and Discontent
Melissa Lion went on a rampage recently about the continued struggle that writers face when they try to get paid to write stuff online. “Content” remains one of my least favorite words because of a variety of connotations, but most specifically because it relegates the value of the “stuff on a web page” to mere ingredients. Just stick some complete sentences in there and you’re probably good. Incomplete ones, even. Heck, just link some stuff and say “AW YEEEAAAHH” at the bottom, that should be good…
Two Performers Needed for Legal Nonsense Night
Luke Lefler kindly provided me with a night to enable my dream of legal mumbo-jumbo read aloud. It’s going to be April 13, at 3 Friends Coffee House, starting at 7:00 pm, with an open mic to follow.
The format follows the name of the coffee shop – 3 readers/performers. We’re each going to have (roughly) 15-17 minutes of stage time. The theme is found poetics within boilerplate or legislative gobbledygook – so the idea is not merely to read the worst legal document you’ve ever had the pleasure of receiving (although that would be fine), but to mash up, surrealize further, or otherwise play with legal language in a fashion that begs to be spoken aloud.
I’d like to see two folks with musical or other talents, so that we don’t have a full hour of reading. Even at the best of times, that can be trying. And of course, if your shtick is not exactly what I’m describing (how could it be) but you feel that there are synergies, also feel free to leave a comment or @ me on Twitter or email me or whatever. Myself, I’m going to be working on an epic poem of sorts to read for my piece.
It would be good to see friends and tweeps take some open mic time as well, themed or no…
Drafting as Coding
I’m in the middle of the transition back to straight legal work, signified by a functioning desktop computer and a fetching new lunch sack. Thus far my assignments have been fairly simple, primarily document review, but my ongoing engagement with the tech world here in Portland has irrevocably changed the way I view such documents. Now, I can only see them as code.
When you read a programming manual, For Dummies or not, it typically states a set of design principles. Among these is the notion that code should flow cleanly, be organized, and to the extent that it is possible, tell the story of what’s going to happen if I compile the program. A contract is fundamentally no different, except the machine you’re compiling the program on is usually a court of law, regulatory schema, or (often) another body of code, like a default statutory scheme. The contract receives inputs and outputs results according to the scheme.
Obviously, the impact of a bug in a contract can have just as large a set of ramifications for everyone involved – you’re asking the courts to provide tech support. Not a good plan. And, just like programming languages, legalese can produce, promote, and sustain fictions (see, for example, Enron). The more creative the mind behind the code, the bigger the lie you can perpetuate. In programming, that equals awesome game experience. In law, often not as cool. On the other hand, the same capacity to exist in PretendTown allows you to duck some of the more egregious chunks of the American legal system. Creative Commons is, after all, nothing more than contracting around copyright law.
I think the metaphor has legs and want to try to document some examples as the year unfolds. If you’re a coder and want to contribute some particularly “narrative” code, I’ll try to come up with a complementary example in the world of legal drafting. In the meantime, let us all keep our code (and hands) squeaky clean.
Third and Long
I have a little under 12,000 words to go, a turkey to cook, and family in town from Wednesday to Sunday. That’s the bad news, in handy compact form. The good news is that I really feel like I’m hitting a stride. It’s not unthinkable to consider two 3,000+ word nights tonight and tomorrow, and some stolen time during the long weekend, to get over the hump.
I’m also nowhere near done with the book. I’d estimate that I’ll have at least half again as many words before I reach the end. But what’s been so amazing about this process is the regularity of insisting upon owning the unproductive hours. I mean, sure, I’m totally behind on my game-playing, and I miss me some Frisky Dingo, but the practical effect on my schedule has been close to nil, and plus I’m writing a book.
I suspect that this subject may emerge as an Ignite Portland topic. Ignite V happens three days before my birthday, which means that they owe me. Not really, but I do think I’m going to talk about nanowrimo and what to do after you write the book.